Part 1 of my Interview with Sgt. First Class Brian Eisch
This the first part of my interview with Brian Eisch. When I saw his story on Netflix, I was so moved that I had to reach out to him. He honored me with the opportunity to interview him and share his story. Brian was critically wounded in Afghanistan. We spoke for almost two hours on what can help veterans come back and transition more easily into normal life.
I’ll be releasing the rest of the interview in the upcoming days.
Thank you Brian for you and your family have given to our country! We can never say Thank You Enough!
Brian Eisch
Father, Soldier, Son - Netflix Documentary
Brian’s three critical pieces of advice that can help our veterans transition back home.
1. Find an Identity 2.Find Purpose 3. Do something you Love
Brian:
Well, it's nice to finally get to meet you.
Douglas:
Yeah, likewise. It's an honor and a privilege to talk to you, man. It's really great. I really appreciate you doing this.
Douglas:
I've been sharing your story with a lot of people man, and that's a really good story done on you and on the film.
Brian:
Thank you.
Douglas:
The New York Times-
Brian:
I appreciate it.
Douglas:
Yeah, it's really powerful. Everything was done really powerful. So last night I performed and I had a bunch of veterans. I brought up your name. I think it would be great when I go to Urbana somehow you're able to make it down there for you to come up and speak, I think that'd be a great opportunity for you.
Brian:
My wife is excited. I don't know if you mind if she comes along?
Douglas:
No. Of course, no. No, not at all. No.
Brian:
Yeah. She's excited to meet you, I've been talking all about you. I showed her the video.
Douglas:
Yeah, it was a privilege to meet you. Last night was... I've traveled so many cities. I'm here in new Orleans right now, and a unit came up on stage just to thank me and shake my hands from Vietnam, and it's just amazing, because when I meet them... You see these older guys, they're much older, they're out of shape, they're overweight, and you forget that there was a time when they were young and virile and they were seeing intense combat.
Brian:
Some of them are more studs than we'll ever dream of being.
Douglas:
Well, and I spoke about you. One question always comes up when I do the play is, what have veterans said about the play? And so I said, one of the great things about the play is that it's allowed me to connect with people like you, that I would've never in a million years dreamed of that I'd be connected with. And it's been a real joy being a voice for you guys and sharing your stories and bringing... The main thing is to bring awareness to society of what veterans go through when they come back.
I guess the first thing is what advice would you give a vet coming back and trying to assimilate back into normal life?
Brian:
I have been asked that question quite a few times. The quick answer that I come up with is identity. I joke all the time. I like to tell jokes, that's how I get some of my messages across is I use humor. So, identity. When I was in the military, I was a senior enlisted. When I walked in a room, people knew who I was, there was a certain level of respect I had, an identity, but when I get out, who am I now? You got to re-establish your identity. And I think getting out and being retired makes that even more difficult because you're not going into another profession. You become what they call permanent and total. So you're not working, you're just retired. Well, what do you do? So you got to find a new identity.
And I remember the day I did that, I was sitting in Walter Reed and people come in left and right, you're like, "Who is this? Who is this?" You don't know... I mean, they know what's going on, and I was clueless. But this lady comes in and she's like, "Check your bank account." Okay. Well, they give you a, it's called TSGLI. At the time, I was called a limb salvage. I didn't have my leg amputated right away, I kept it for four years. So, I got a little lump sum check from the government, because of Traumatic Servicemember's Group Life Insurance. And I'm like, "Well, what am I going to do with this?" "Well, you're going to be medically retired from the military." And I'm like, "Well, I did a bass tournament once, I'm going to buy a bass boat." So literally I went from 100% army to 100% bass fishermen.
And the famous words of Patrick Grady, who was a captain in the army. He says I'm the most motivated loser ever because I bought all the latest, greatest lures and stuff, but I had not a clue how to bass fish. But I'd be up there coming into weigh-ins with 6lbs and all excited, and then these guys would be coming in with 20lb bags. I'm like, "How'd you do that? Good job." And then I'm blowing snot bubbles and kicking rocks the whole way home, because I'm like, "How did they do that?" But I just kept grinding at it, and now I'm the one cashing checks. So, identity. I think the first thing somebody would do when they got back is you got to establish an identity and you got to decide what you're going to do.
Douglas:
Did that give you identity, fishing?
Brian:
Absolutely. It's like And I got it in my notes further down on some of your other questions. In the summer, it works great. But in the winter in Wisconsin, it's very hard to bass fish when that hard stuff's on top of the water. So winters are a struggle for me. My wife sees it, so I resort to World of Tanks in the winter.
Douglas:
What do you do in the winter?
Brian:
World of Tanks. I'm sure you saw that on the documentary. I play World of Tanks, it's a stupid game-
Douglas:
I don't remember that. I think when they showed that in the doc, they didn't show the... I can't remember if they showed the game.
Brian:
I was in the background, they were showing Maria cleaning.
Douglas:
Yeah, I don't remember that, but I do remember the game part, that was something that in my research when I wrote the TV series, not the play, I reached out to all my contacts who I've connected with the play, and I said, "Could I interview you, because I'm trying to write this story?" And video games was one of the things that a lot of guys talked to me about. I wasn't able to put it into it, but yeah, a lot of guys play a lot of video games. I remember that.
Brian:
I struggle really hard because it's so easy to just sit behind that computer and just play all day. And you get nothing accomplished, and then at the end of the day, you're like, "Man, today sucked."
Douglas:
What have I done?
Brian:
But I can't remember it. It was a Marine general or an Air Force general. There was a YouTube video out there, but he says, "Make your bed every morning because you've already accomplished a goal." And I try to live by that now, I've toned down. I still play video games. I play them quite a bit, but I get some work done. Like, all morning... We just sold our house, so we're getting ready to move, so I'm out picking up the garage. And my wife knows me, she just gives me a honey-do list, and I will just go right down that list and knock it out. So I knocked out four or five things this morning, and now I feel like I did something today, so I can sit down for an hour and play my game.
Douglas:
Right.
What's the misconception you think people have about, one, being a soldier, and two, being a vet? And does it change being a vet and an amputee vet? Is there a difference?
Brian:
Well, let me answer your first question first, and then because of my squirrel syndrome, you're going to have to come back and reiterate about the vet versus amputee thing. But... See, there I go. What's the misconception is that when a civilian meets a veteran, they automatically assume that they were Johnny Rambo in the military. And it's two-part. So when you meet another vet, some vets feel that they have to justify their job in the military. The number one thing that red flags me, and my wife sees this all the time when I'm having conversations with civilians, is they'll come up and say, "Oh, my son's special forces." And I'm like, "Okay. Maybe he is, but he's probably just telling you that because he's trying to glorify his position in the military." But people need to understand that you might be a cook in the military, or you might be a [inaudible 00:09:31] clerk shuffling papers in the military, or a chaplain's assistant, or a funeral director. The army doesn't work without any one of those. They're needed.
Douglas:
Yeah, when I spoke to a vet, I spoke to a guy named Jimmy [inaudible 00:09:46] in California. He was in the Air Force, and he shared with me some serious PTS issues but going to what you're saying, he says that it's only about 10 or 15% of the military that actually sees combat, he says the rest of it is just there to support the combat.
Brian:
And honestly, that was a fear of mine. I was infantry, and it'd been 17 years in the military until I went to combat. I don't know why, I was worried that I was going to get out of the military without going to combat. It felt like I was training for my job all these years, and I never got to do it. I think the army was protecting me because I was a single parent. I don't know. And then I get the chance to go to combat and get my shot.
Douglas:
Yeah, then you saw combat, and you're like, "Oh, I was good where I was at."
Brian:
So, another side-story for you. I was a young E5 the 25th infantry division in Hawaii. I was a team leader, and I met First Sergeant Gallagher. First Sergeant Gallagher was the platoon Sergeant in Somalia, and he almost lost his hand. And he has two binders that he sat down one night while I was on CQ and went through. And in the infantry, we joke a lot about there's only two MOS's. MOS is your job in the military. There are only two MOS's is in the military, there's infantry, and those that support the infantry.
Brian:
And that was just a big haha joke, but he's the first person that opened my eyes. He goes, "A PFC female medic that was out of AIT for three weeks saved my hand. Don't ever say that again." And I'm like, "Whoa." That was a real eye-opener. So that was my first two years in the army, two and a half years in the army that said there's more than just a combat unit, we need the medics. A medic saved my life, Jared Cripe. I owe him my life, and I let him know that at least once a week now. I didn't talk to him for years, I was embarrassed.
Douglas:
Because of your leg?
Brian:
I was just embarrassed because he saved my life. It's that whole, they call it PTSD. I don't think it's a disorder, I think it's just a normal reaction. But I play that every day, "Did I do the right thing?" I play it through my head every day, I replay it. My son was killed, so that kind of shadows over it, but I still play it over every day, and I keep coming back, "Look, the guy I went out to try and save, lived, so I would do the same thing again, even though my medic saved both our lives."
Douglas:
Yeah. You never... I lost my eye when I was four, and you never really... And I've tried to share stories when I've done talks with vets. Actually, there was a guy I remember, I was at Thomas Edison State University giving a speech, and there was a guy who got hit in the eye by shrapnel, and he was going to lose his eye. And I noticed right away. I mean, he still had his God-given eye, but it was really messed up. It was red, bleeding, it was black.
Douglas:
And I talked to him and I said, "Hey, I know a lot of doctors, and so if you ever want to reach out to me, feel free to." And he was really hesitant to... You could tell he was having a hard time facing what was coming down the pipe, but I told him, "There's nothing you can't do. It's a misconception that you have that you think you're not going to be able to do something, but it's a false misconception. I mean, you may not be an Air Force pilot just because they're not going to let you fly a plane, but other than that, I think you're going to be able to do everything." And I know you're fairly new at losing your leg, there's nothing you can't do. And I remember as a young-
Brian:
I'm working on it.
Douglas:
There really isn't. A lot of times we think that our limitations are on the outside, but they're really all on the inside.
Brian:
Well, when you're fully able-bodied, you take a straight line to your objective, but when you lose a leg, you got to find a new path to that objective.
Douglas:
Yeah. And you get creative, man. I'm an actor, so I always have to put myself on tape. And so I'm always doing all kinds of weird tricks with my face and turning myself to create symmetry. And you get really good at it, man, you get really good at being creative, and it goes to show you how much potential we really have. Because your brain starts working in different ways, and so I just wanted to share that with you, and just know that there's nothing that you can't do.
Douglas:
People always ask me, they always say, "What do you think people should do..." Why do I tell the story, and I always tell them why I tell the story, the play. And it says, "What should America do?" And I always say, "I don't know what that answer is, but I think the reason why I do the play is I think America should just know the stories. I think that to me is important, and I think from there you can decide what you want to do with it, but I think we have a responsibility and a duty to hear our veterans and their family stories. I think that makes us better as a society, and that makes us better as a nation to decide when we use that power again, which is the greatest force on earth."
But I would ask you is, what should we do? What should society, what should America do to help veterans?
Brian:
I get really, really passionate about that subject. And I only speak for myself, not other veterans or anything like that, but I wrote down a couple of things. Duty. I mean, for me, it was my duty, it was no question. My great.... And this is only as far back as I know, that I have paperwork on. My great-grandpa, my grandpa, my dad and myself, it's-
Douglas:
All served?
Brian:
All served, yeah. All army. As I call it, lineage. But so for me, it was no question. There are nine kids in my family, a blended family, and my dad wanted one of us to join. Well, I'm the youngest male, so I'm it by default. But I remember as a kid I was out playing war in the woods, building forts, rubber band gums, all that crap. But so duty comes up, what should America do? I think we need patriotism. And I don't want to get into the politics or race or anything, but I think there's a false sense of freedom in America. I think people just think it's there. You hear the interviews on TV, "Well, it's my right. I'm an American."
Really? What did you do to reinforce that? Are you just exercising that right, because somebody else did it with the whole, "Oh, somebody else will do it," mentality? No, what did you do for your country? Doesn't have to be today, doesn't have to be tomorrow, maybe it was yesterday, but what did you do for your country? And it doesn't have to be in the military. You don't have to serve in the military to do your duty to your country. But what did you do? If you can't come up with an immediate answer, you need to take a step back and reevaluate your patriotism.
I think too many Americans have not heard the word, no. I think more Americans need to be told, "No, you cannot do that." Because there are too many politicians out there saying, "I'm going to fight for that because that's what you want." Well, you know what? There needs to be a baseline standard of, "No, you can't go below that." There are all kinds of memes and jokes out there, and I laugh at them and I joke about them, and I'm on one side of the fence, some people are on the other, and that's fine, but you're asking me the questions, so I'm going to give you my answer to it. I think everybody needs to do their part.
I think there needs to be more patriotism.
Laws are there for a reason. Does stuff change? Absolutely, but there needs to be that baseline standard. And it's easy for me to say that because that's how I was raised in the military for 20 years. Well, that's what the law says. This is where we're going. As long as you don't fall below that. And there are trials where I would walk... I remember in Afghanistan, there was a thing, I walked in and I saw my platoon doing some things, and I called the leadership over, and I'm like, "What regulation can you reference what you're doing? Can you reference that in a regulation?"
"Well, no." "Then why are you doing it?" "It's initiation. This..." I said, "You're going to prison for the rest of your life unless you can reference that in a regulation." It's there for their safety, and it goes for the general laws of the country. A lot of them aren't there to tell somebody no, they're there for a reason, for the safety of the country. And I just think if people aren't told no, it's just going to be this chili pot of mess.
Douglas:
Yeah, I don't know where we lost patriotism in the country. It seems mind-boggling to me. I mean, the reason why I created the play was that I'm very patriotic. And my father was very patriotic, and he was an immigrant, and he was an Argentinian Jew. And I shared a story last night, and I always share it. The play in a way is a love letter to my dad. And my dad was always very grateful for what America did during the second world war, and he instilled patriotism in me. And I just don't understand where that's gone. I don't understand why that's become such a political thing. And I agree with you, I think if we had more patriotism, we would have more unity.
And it's really sad that it's gone. I teach my children patriotism very strongly. And my son, he's learning it. I don't have to tell him to take off his hat or put his hand over his chest when our national anthem plays. We went through the WWII Museum. If you ever come to New Orleans, you should check out this museum down here, it's unbelievable. And we went through it, and I explained to him, and I explained to him why his grandfather was very grateful, and this is why, and this is what instilled me, and this is what gave me patriotism, this is why I created the play, and I kind of drew the whole connection for him. And one of the cool things about doing the play sometimes when I do it, especially for younger kids is a lot of them are.... I mean, I've done a lot of colleges, and I've had college kids go, "I didn't know we were in that many wars."
Brian:
Yeah, they don't. They don't.
Douglas:
What are you fucking learning? How'd you not know... I mean, I'm not talking about the Spanish-American War, I'm talking about very well-known conflicts, revolutions-
Brian:
Even Veterans Day. People don't know-
Douglas:
Yeah, they don't know what Veterans Day is. I don't know why-
Brian:
Ask them what arm Armistice Day is. Do they know what that is?
Douglas:
Forget that.
Brian:
It's the same day.
Douglas:
It's the same day. Forget that. Yeah, November 11th.
Brian:
I think it comes down to responsibility.
Douglas:
Yeah, I agree.
Brian:
There's too much finger-pointing going on, the whole division. I mean, I remember... I keep going on side-stories, I hope you're all right with that.
Douglas:
No, you're good, man. You're good.
Brian:
So when I first went active duty in the military, I was stationed. I was actually General Shinseki's truck driver, his M113 driver in the 1st Calvary Division in 1994. And if you know about him, he was a two-star, then he lost his foot in Vietnam, he's got a wooden foot. But, very mean. He was very nice to me, but you could hear him around the corner cussing out my NCOs, but he was good about keeping it separate. But I tried out for LURSE, which is long-range surveillance, and I was accepted into LURSE. And one of my first team leaders was Sergeant Ricky Air from Texas.
He's out now, he's actually a police officer. He hurt his knee on a jump, so he's a police officer somewhere in Texas. Probably the most important NCO ever that taught me the most, and there are others. But one thing he taught me is... And you've heard this before, I'm sure. Take responsibility for your actions. As a leader in the military, you're responsible for anything your soldiers do or fail to do. And that's what I replay in my head every day about the day I got shot, and with my son Joey being killed. So, I mean, that would be the one thing I think society needs to do is take responsibility for their actions.
Douglas:
Yeah. For sure. I mean, society right now... I mean, it doesn't seem like anybody wants to take any responsibility for anything.
Brian:
Just finger-pointing.
Douglas:
Yeah. I mean, we're living in a very topsy turvy world right now. And I grew up in the '80s in Houston, Texas, and I couldn't in a million years guess where we would be right now. But patriotism is good.
What they should know about the military or being a veteran?
Brian:
Don't feel sorry for us.
Douglas:
I hear that a lot, but what else can you do? I mean, sometimes it feels like that's all they have. Like, "Thank you for your service."
Brian:
Yeah. And I put it into two categories, and I actually wrote this down. Some people look at us like we're animals in a zoo. It's just like... So, I wear funny shirts like, what are you staring at you two-legged freak? Or, I still run better than the government. Or a handicapped symbol that says, I'm just in it for the parking. So that kind of gets people away from the leg, because they see the leg and they wonder, "What happened to his leg?" So I kind of make humor about it, but most civilians don't get military jokes, they don't see the humor behind it. But I think they appreciate that I am joking about it, but I don't think they fully get it. And circle me back to what we're talking about.
Douglas:
You said, don't feel sorry for you. And then I said, sometimes it feels like that's all they have. They don't know what to do.
END OF PART 1
Father, Soldier, Son - Netflix Documentary
